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笑破肚皮的英文笑话

笑破肚皮的英文笑话

来源:互联网  编辑:短信大王 阅读: 字体:[ 08-03-18
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A Girl Just Like Mother

No matter which girl he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice.
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her.
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl.He told his friendly adviser:
“Just like you said, I found a girl who looked,talked,dressed, and even cooked like mother.And just as you said,mother liked her”
“So,”asked the friend,“what happened?”
“Nothing,”said the young man.“My father hates her!”

无论带哪一个女孩回家,这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说:
“找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”
于是这位青年人不停地找啊找,终于找到了这么个女孩。他对他友好的忠告者说:
“正像你说的那样,我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮,甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样,我母亲喜欢她。”
“那后来呢?”朋友问。
“没什么,”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她!”

 Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

 

拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

 

一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA !Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了! 当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!” 后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“one thousand!”日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”

 

The Doctor Knows Better

    A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
  Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still

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